Juggling all the balls!!!

Hello!  My name is Stephanie, a 31 year old mother of one so far. I have been married for 10 years to my wonderful gentle giant Anton. I am also a pre-school teacher with a passion for school readiness and foundation phase education. I am here to share some of my thoughts on the balancing act of motherhood.   As I write these words, I go on a journey of self reflection and personal growth, join me as I share my travels through life and motherhood.

Being a mom is my greatest gift in life. When my son was born, it was like all the lightbulbs came on and I gained a perspective on life that I had never had before. A fierceness was birthed inside of me, the day my son was born. A drive and a desire to provide like never before came alive. I remember thinking Wow, being a mom is easy and soon realizing quite the opposite. 

You see, the thing is, mothering is easy, it’s when you  combine all the other elements in life, to mothering, it’s a whole other ballgame. (literally juggling it all) For me, it was being a good wife, a good housekeeper, a good employee, a good friend, a good ‘everything’ to be honest. A few months after my son was born, I had to return back to the workplace and I remember thinking, how on earth is this all going to work out? There were moments of panic and outbursts of irritation – my poor husband dealt with it all.

I had to let go of the pressure that I put on myself to be the best at everything, to excel in all my ‘roles’.

I learnt that my son doesn’t need the best clothes, the neatest house, the latest gadgets or the perfect mother. I may not be the perfect mother but I am perfect for him, chosen and created to mother the son which God gave me. I also strive to be the best example to my son, if I want him to grow in patience and kindness, I need to demonstrate that in my own life, I don’t always succeed but he will always see me trying and that’s what is important. 

One of my greatest passions in life is teaching. I am a Grade-R teacher by profession and I love seeing little ones develop and thrive right before my eyes. Being a mom and a teacher has helped me in seeing a child holistically and not just through an academic lens. Our children come with so many facets and ‘folders’ , it is our job as parents and teachers to ‘read’ through them all, to see the bigger picture, to see the ‘whole’ child for who they are. Here are some thoughts I would like to share as a teacher and a mother – 

1. Don’t compare your child’s progress with other children, each child is an individual and societal pressures throw us into a wheelspin of wanting our children to be number 1 in every area, it is not fair to live through our children or to ‘heal’ our own childhood insecurities. 

2. Have fun with your children, it doesn’t have to cost anything, play in sand with your child, run laps, make experiments with sunlight liquid in the garden. Your child is looking for a ‘present’ parent, not someone giving instructions all day. Let yourself get messy, let the inner child be free. 

3. Give your child the opportunity to handle conflict on their own for as far as you possibly can. This is a life skill that will benefit them always. 

4. Be consistent – our children look to us for stability, they find stability when we are consistent and stick to what we say. Don’t promise something that you can’t deliver on. 

5. You are not alone – motherhood can feel so isolated and we so often get stuck in our heads with the thought of ‘I must be the only one struggling’. Every mother goes through seasons of struggle. Reach out when it feels like you are drowning in the balls. 

I am only 2 years into my journey of parenthood and I fail daily but I have learnt not to stay down when I fall but to try and try again. My son has taught me resilience and perseverance. Motherhood comes with golden gifts. Motherhood has made me a better teacher. Children are a gift, like clay in a potter’s hand, so a teacher can mold a child for life, may we as teachers never take that for granted. 

With love,
Stephanie